"I've got a blow, I've got a blow, Jane!" - Jane Eyre

About a week ago I received the unexpected news that school tuition in Italy had gone up.  By a few thousand euros.  As I had already paid my deposit for the school year and thought I was good to go for my first year, this was an unexpected blow financially.  But maybe the deposit I paid could go towards the new cost?  It turns out that in order to get a student visa starting for the summer, as I am to arrive in June, I would also have to pay for summer courses. The deposit I already paid would cover the summer, then I would have to start all over to pay for the fall.  That's quite a bit of extra moula for summer courses...and fundraising is not for the faint of heart.  Thankfully the Lord is not faint nor distant, and He is the only reason I have made it this far! Whew.

I started weighing my options.  To avoid the summer fees, I could put off leaving until mid October.  My mind and heart rebelled against that idea, June has been my goal all along, for a couple different reasons.  Once I came home from my vision trip in the fall, and made a decision at the end of December to return to Italy, I naturally wanted to get back as soon as possible.  I left a part of my heart there, and there is a sense of urgency to get back, each day we draw closer to the return of Jesus and so many people still need the Gospel.  But I also wanted to spend time with my family and Traverse City now that I realized I would once again be leaving long term, have time to organize myself and fund-raise, and finish out the school year teaching at Dance Arts Academy, where my bosses, colleagues, and students are all precious to me.  May 28 will be my final day teaching culminating with Spring Concerts, and in June I am free to go, so June I chose as my departure month.  The longer I am away the more I lose what I have learned of Italian, and it is hard to keep in stride with the Gallery 4 Team from so far away.  To delay until October makes it that much harder in all aspects.  

The catch was, if I still was going in June, I needed to be applying for a visa starting yesterday in order to get it in time.  Committing to June, the visa, a plane ticket, and trusting the Lord to raise 100% funding plus the new extra for school by June, was a whole lot for me to swallow.  I felt rushed and didn't want to make any decisions without the Lord.  I am notoriously bad at decisions, and the weight of this one wasn't making it any easier.  (Do I want brie or camembert cheese? I have to live with this decision until the next time I buy cheese!!!)  The struggle is real, you guys...

I spent a lot of time praying and seeking the Lord last weekend, to make sure I wasn't holding June with a closed fist.  If the Lord wanted me to delay, His ways are fully informed, mine are only informed by my present; who am I to say June is better?  October might seem random when schools normally start in September, but my brother Jeffrey is getting married in October.  It wouldn't make sense to pay for a plane ticket to go for less than a month in September, then have to buy another plane ticket to return after the wedding in October.   I thought to myself, what would Leslie Knope do?  So I made a pros and cons list.  It didn't help a whole lot, but it made me feel a tad better. 

It's frustrating to me that practically speaking, it all boiled down to money.  The tuition for the year I need to raise no matter what, but the summer was an extra $1,400.  That's money I don't HAVE to raise if I delayed my departure until the fall, and I want to be a good steward of the Lord's money and the money entrusted to me by my supporters, present and future.  Especially when that 100% funding seems so distant, I'm trying to keep everything as minimal as possible.

Another option was looking into other kinds of visas.  I've been told by many people the easiest visa to acquire is the student visa, the other ones require a lot more paper work and hoops to jump through.  What ensued was many hours of research into different kinds of visas and reaching out to different people for advice and wisdom.  Most of what was unfruitful and dead ends.  Alas. 

Then I had a thought.  I should marry an Italian, ASAP.  Haha don't worry, that wasn't the thought.  What if I left in June for 90 days and stayed without a visa, like I did in the fall?  Tourists from some countries, the US included, can spend 90 days in the Schengen Territory without needing a visa.  Then I could come home in September for 3-4 weeks, the perfect timing to be home for Jeffrey's wedding and get my student visa to come back for the school year in October.  Thus avoiding the need to pay for summer school.  With all the dead ends I had hit so far, it seemed almost too good to be true.  It was confirmed by Rachel, one of my dancing friends with Gallery 4, that it was possible.  She had done that herself at one point! 

So, June it still is.  The Lord had really brought me to terms with not leaving until October, and so I still don't know what the point of that scare was.  Maybe it was the Lord making sure I would be willing to give up June.  Or that there are going to be many bumps and bruises, and unexpected delays and circumstances along the way.  I must have faith, trust, and flexibility, and lean on His understanding all the more.